An Affair Downstairs Read online

  “There’s no one better at management than Logan. Lord Averford has had a trying time doing without him these past few weeks.” Alice wondered at Logan staying away so long with such a warm and welcoming family missing him at Stratton Place. She wished they’d had time to talk alone before dinner, but she supposed it would take Sophia at least a day to figure out that Alice wasn’t in London and catch up to her. They would have their chance.

  ***

  “She’s here,” Logan told John upon his return to the drawing room. “Lady Alice, from Thornbrook Park. She has come to see me.”

  He’d told John and Ellen about Alice, briefly, but enough that they had formed some idea of what she meant to him. “A wonder that she didn’t call ahead. But you said she was impetuous.”

  “Did I? I thought I said tenacious. But she is also impetuous.” Unable to contain his nerves, he paced in front of the fire. “Just seeing her again… I had no idea what effect it would have on me. I’m glad she’s well. She looks well. You’ll see. She’s with Ellen. They’re dressing up. Alice didn’t bring any bags. I don’t know why. We’ve hardly had a chance to talk.”

  “You’re making up for it by talking at me.” John laughed. “Sit down, man. You’re making me nervous.”

  “Sorry.” Logan flexed his hands and straightened them, trying to release tension. “It’s just that—she’s here.”

  “Yes, you’ve said so.”

  “Why did her sister let her come alone? It’s odd, so soon after Alice’s injury. I guess it has been nearly three weeks now.”

  “You could put in a call to Lord Averford,” John suggested.

  “Not until we have a chance to talk. After dinner.”

  John gestured to the doorway, causing Logan to turn around. He’d barely recovered his ability to breathe from when Alice had suddenly appeared in his entry hall. Now he felt the wind knocked out of him again at the sight of her in a gown of shimmering rose silk that clung to her slight figure, accentuating her few natural curves. The hem was split to tease the barest hint of leg from ankle to knee under a petticoat of glittery gold netting, the same gold netting that formed a shawl-like collar over her pretty white shoulders. A diamond tiara sparkled in her elaborately styled auburn hair.

  He went to her, bent on one knee, kissed her silk-gloved hand, and rose. “A princess stands before us. Two princesses.” No sense in leaving out Ellen, who had adorned herself further with showy jewels, aquamarines glistening on her tiara, her choker, and a matching bracelet.

  “I prefer to think of myself as the queen.” Ellen drifted over to stand by her husband, who was perched on the corner of the sofa.

  “You are my queen, darling.” John rose to kiss his wife on the cheek.

  “This is my brother, John.” Logan led Alice across the room. “John, Lady Alice Emerson.”

  “A pleasure to meet you.” John folded her hand in his. “I’m glad you’ve come to visit. I hope you’re feeling much better.”

  “Much better than I was three weeks ago. Thank you for asking. And you? You had your brother worried.” She and Logan had hardly had a chance to talk about his homecoming, but Alice knew him well enough to imagine what it must have taken to get him home.

  “I’m much better, too. I tire easily, but I suppose that’s to be expected.”

  “Recovery can be slow, or so I’ve heard.” Alice nodded sympathetically. “No need to rush into anything.”

  “I hope we can rush into dinner soon. I’m getting hungry.” John looked at Ellen. “Any word from the girls?”

  “Ah, I think I hear them now.” Ellen stood with John, Logan, and Alice, all of them turning expectantly to the open double doors, waiting for the children to make their grand entrance.

  The butler introduced them as if they were esteemed visitors from enchanted foreign lands.

  “Princess Laura of Lillyhampton.” The youngest, age five, came in draped in yards of tulle, pink as her mother had warned. She wore a sable stole over her shoulders and a crown fashioned from flowers over her ebony curls.

  “Princess Sarah of Sweetenburg.” The middle girl, seven years old, used the pink tulle as a veil that cascaded from a cone-shaped hat of pink silk. Her dress had most likely been one of her mother’s old ball gowns, cut down to size and with an added lace collar.

  “Princess Grace of Gleeshiredale.” Julia’s Grace floated into the room on a cloud of billowing white lace and ice blue velvet. She had apparently opted against a crown, letting her golden hair flow loosely around her shoulders, her only ornament. Growing up fast, she wouldn’t be content to play with the younger girls in the nursery for much longer.

  “Well done.” Their father clapped.

  “Such beautiful princesses. Thank you for gracing us with your presence.” Their mother curtsied.

  “My name is Grace. I’m gracing you.” Grace spun in a circle and laughed.

  “Allow me to introduce another visiting princess, a friend of mine from Thornbrook Park, Lady Alice Emerson.”

  “Lady Alice?” Laura contorted her face in confusion. “You said she was a princess.”

  “She’s a princess to me.”

  Sarah laughed behind her hand. “Uncle Logan is in love.”

  He turned to Alice, but she’d focused her beaming smile on the girls and didn’t seem to be aware of him.

  “Sarah, don’t be impolite,” her mother corrected her.

  “I’m very glad to meet you all.” Alice dipped to her lowest royal curtsey. “I had no idea I would be in the presence of royalty. I hope that I will remember to mind my manners.”

  Laura got as close to Alice as her tulle would allow and whispered loudly, “We’re not really princesses. It’s just an act.”

  Alice nodded. “Thank goodness. The last time I dined with a princess, she wanted to throw me in the dungeon for eating too fast. Your uncle says that I eat like a rabid wolf.”

  Now she turned her attention to him, and it was his turn to blush. “I’m sorry, Alice. I should never have said such a thing, a lie. You pick at your food like a delicate bird, a sparrow.”

  “I value your honesty, Logan. The wolf reference will suffice.”

  “Oh dear, what shall we do?” Ellen mocked horror. “We have more ladies than gentlemen present. Who is to escort whom into the dining room?”

  “I’ll take two princesses, Laura and Sarah,” John volunteered. “One on each arm. You take Grace, Ellen, leaving Logan to escort Lady Alice.”

  “That will do the trick.” Ellen offered her arm to Grace.

  Logan tucked Alice’s hand into the crook of his elbow. “You look exquisite, Princess.”

  The last time he’d called her exquisite, she had been stark naked in the glow of a roaring fire. He preferred her naked, but the pretty gown was an admittedly better choice for mixed company. Still, he hoped he would have another chance to get her naked. His memories could only get him so far.

  “Thank you. I have my fairy godmother to thank. You look a bit like you might have fallen under an enchantment yourself, Logan. I admit that seeing you again has had an overwhelming effect on me.”

  “Not too overwhelming, I hope. I do still worry about your health.” He pulled out the chair next to his. He wasn’t about to risk having Ellen work up a seating arrangement that would take Alice too far from him. They had too much to catch up on, and he was eager to get on with the meal and then excuse them to go conduct a more private conversation.

  “I’ve never felt better,” she said, placing her hand meaningfully atop his.

  ***

  After a dinner that featured a few too many cloyingly sweet courses to please adult palates, they spent some time with the family in the drawing room before Ellen declared it bedtime for the princesses. After they said their good-nights, Logan led Alice to a small parlor where they could speak privately. She took a seat on the sofa, and he pulled an armchair closer to her.

  “I’ll get to why I’m here in a moment,” she said, her mouth going dry. �
��But first, a question. I’m curious. Grace calls Laura and Sarah her sisters, but yet she refers to Ellen and John as uncle and aunt.”

  Logan nodded as if he’d been expecting the question. “John and Ellen agreed to adopt her at birth.”

  “Your family is wonderful, Logan.” That John and Ellen had adopted the girl confirmed her suspicions. Grace was his daughter. Somehow Julia had agreed to let them raise her as one of their own. “The girls all seem to adore you, and it’s clear that John and Ellen have missed you all these years. I can’t imagine what kept you so stubbornly away, though I know you’re about to tell me. But first, let me tell you that I didn’t get your letter until today.”

  “I sent it not long after I departed from Thornbrook Park, once I knew you were conscious and recovering. When I didn’t hear from you, I’d assumed you’d given up on me.”

  “Given up? Certainly you know me better than that. I don’t give up easily.” She smiled, wishing it was easier to bridge the gap between them. Why did she suddenly feel so distant from him? “I simply didn’t know. I woke up and was told that you’d gone, and that you planned to leave Thornbrook Park. I had no idea what to think, and I was barely able to consider it. Apparently, I wasn’t quite right when I woke up.”

  “Wasn’t right?” He moved to the couch next to her and took her hand. “What do you mean? The doctor didn’t think there would be any permanent damage.”

  “Not permanent, fortunately. I feel better at last.”

  “At last?” A dark brow shot up. “How long did it take for your recovery? Sophia lied to me. She said you were yourself right away.”

  She shrugged. “I think I was. I remember that when I first regained consciousness, I felt clear-headed, though there was slight pain and a buzzing in my ears. And then…”

  “Then?” he prompted her.

  “I seemed to get worse. My mind grew fuzzy. I had trouble remembering details. Even just this morning, I found myself nodding my head and being unable to stop.”

  “Unable to stop nodding?”

  “It sounds odd, I know. I felt trapped in a fog, and suddenly it just lifted. The doctor said my progress would be gradual, and I thought he meant it could take days or weeks. Instead, it happened over the course of a day, today.”

  “Just today? Alice, I could have waited. You needn’t have rushed out immediately. Are you sure you’re well?” He placed a hand to her forehead, and the contact drove her to long for his touch elsewhere, all over her.

  “I am. At last, I am.”

  He stroked his jaw as if considering. “That doesn’t seem quite right, does it? I’ve seen a few head injuries in my time, though nothing as serious, and I assumed that being clear-headed when you woke meant that you were on the way to a full recovery.”

  “On the way, yes, but not quite there, I suppose. But I feel better, and that’s the main thing, isn’t it? Earlier today, in my determination to finally regain some independence, I stumbled across your letter and I knew I had to see you. I came at once.”

  “Stumbled across? Did someone hide it from you?”

  “Sophia. She has become an overprotective hen, always right at my side.” She couldn’t bring herself to bring up Lord Ralston or her engagement, not yet. She’d left the ring in her coat pocket with the cuff links. “I think she might have thought I wasn’t ready to hear from you. I didn’t tell her what happened between us, exactly, but I asked for you when I woke. I believe that’s what gave her cause for concern. At that time, I didn’t care what she thought. I only wanted to see you.” She watched him for a reaction.

  “She knew before you woke,” he said, surprising her. “She asked me to leave. My concern when you were thrown from your horse was too apparent, and she worried what people would think, rightfully so. I didn’t want to leave your side. I had to be reminded of my duty and yours.”

  “My duty? To marry to her satisfaction?” Hope flooded her. He’d wanted to stay. She placed a hand on his cheek. “I knew you wouldn’t leave me. We’re friends.”

  “Friends,” he repeated, a slow smile spreading on his lips, and then fading fast. “I hope you’re still my friend when I tell you that I confessed to Sophia that we were intimate. I was mad with worry, Alice. I told her that I’d proposed to you. It explains why she felt the need to protect you from me, I suppose.”

  “I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself. Logan, she had me in a prison. At least that’s what it felt like. I’m free. I’m myself again at last. But why didn’t she tell me she knew? Why didn’t she ask me about you?” If Sophia knew Alice had been intimate with a man, wouldn’t she feel the need to lecture Alice about being ruined?

  His eyes narrowed with concern. “You said you were having memory problems. Perhaps she thought you’d forgotten.”

  “I could never forget. Our night together is emblazoned in my mind. It will be with me forever, and it means more to me than I could ever express.” She placed her hands on his arm, longing for more intimate contact.

  “You can’t blame Sophia for wanting to protect you, especially if she thought you had a chance with Ralston. You could be a countess, her social equal. Blame is a terrible thing. It can warp your perspective. I held myself accountable for my own actions for far too long. I’ve finally been able to forgive myself, but it hasn’t been easy, especially being here with so many reminders.”

  “I’ve been protected for far too long. It’s time I took matters into my own hands.” Reminders? Alice wondered if he meant reminders of Julia, or the woman herself. “Are you ready to tell me what there was to forgive?”

  “Tomorrow. It’s late. You’ve had a long day and I don’t want to exhaust you. You’re still healing.”

  Tomorrow. She expected she would hear about Julia tomorrow. Perhaps he was engaged as well and there would be no need for her to fear telling him that she’d accepted Ralston. “I don’t want to be away from you. I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you as well, Alice. At least we’re under the same roof. I’m so glad that you’ve come.”

  Logan rose to escort her to her room, but she stopped him at the door.

  “Wait, please.” There was only one thing that could ease the ache that had risen from deep inside her. She stood on her toes and gently brushed her lips to his. When he didn’t recoil, she traced the outline of his lips with her tongue.

  One strong arm curled around her waist and pulled her tighter to him as his mouth opened hungrily on hers. Her knees weakened. Without the strength of his arm around her, she might have stumbled. The fiery curl of desire licked at her core, replacing the hollow ache. She wanted him. She would always want him. And as soon as she could free herself of her unfortunate entanglement with Lord Ralston, she meant to have him.

  “Good night, Logan. I think it best I leave you here and find my own way to my room.”

  Seventeen

  She woke early the next morning, far too early. Sleep had eluded her. The comfort of the bed, luxury of the room, and quiet of the night did not matter next to her endless thoughts of Logan. Did he love her like she loved him? Did it matter? They couldn’t be together. He had his family and his home again. Perhaps he had Julia back, too. What would he need with Alice anymore?

  If that was the case, she might as well marry Lord Ralston. As soon as Sophia found her and insisted on her return to Thornbrook Park, they would announce the engagement. But perhaps she needn’t think of marriage as a prison. As a married woman, she would be more freely able to travel alone, not less. Perhaps she and Ralston could come to some sort of agreement on what their marriage would entail. She would be willing to share his bed and give him heirs, as long as she were free to embark on adventures once the nursery was filled. A modern marriage. Why not?

  She knew why not. Her heart was engaged elsewhere. Would she bare herself to Ralston, picturing Logan in his place all the while? Now that she knew what it was to love, could she be intimate with a man for whom she held no genuine affection? She supposed women
did it all the time, but she couldn’t be one of those women now that she knew real love. Not at all. Instead of lying in bed wondering, she got up, washed, and dressed. It was early, too early to ring for a maid. She managed on her own and set out to explore Stratton Place.

  In one of the small parlors, she ran into the housekeeper. “I was having a look around,” she explained. “It’s too early for breakfast, so I thought I might explore.”

  “I’m Mrs. Morrison, Lady Alice. My apologies that you were not properly shown around yesterday, but I understand it was late when you arrived.”

  Mrs. Morrison, a little on the plump side, had a round face and wispy white hair that reminded Alice of Aunt Agatha. She inspired confidence, and Alice took a chance to ask her about Logan.

  “I’m interested in Mr. Winthrop.” Alice came right out with it. “Have you been with the family long enough to know what he was like as a boy?”

  “Oh, yes.” Mrs. Morrison nodded. “Logan was a quiet boy, very shy. He kept to himself most of the time, though John, six years older, doted on his younger brother when John wasn’t off at school. Logan came out of his shell a bit once he became friends with Miss Julia Kirkland. The Kirkland family lived in a manor house across the green. You might have passed it when you arrived.”

  “It was dark.” She’d been concerned only with getting to Stratton Place safely.

  “Of course. It was just Julia and her parents, an older couple. Her father ran a textile mill over in Bainsbridge. They say his lungs went bad from inhaling all the fine fibers that fill the air at the mill. He was ailing most of the time. Julia was a lively child, a beautiful girl with long, blond hair.”

  “Like Grace’s.”

  Mrs. Morrison smiled. “Grace is the very image of her mother. Those two, Logan and Julia, were always underfoot in the house when they were not running wild outside. From the day they met, the two of them became inseparable companions, but of course the time came when Logan had to go off to school.”